Monday, May 31, 2010


A little less than two weeks ago, I had a septoplasty and turbinate reduction.  What is this, you say?  Hell if I know, but it has something to do with straightening out the cartilage in my nose and reducing the size of my sinus cavities.  Oh...and it hurt like hell.

For years, I've had problems with my sinuses and problems breathing during sleep so the hope is that this will correct all that.  For those who are considering this surgery, here is a brief description of what to expect:

On Monday morning, my husband drove me over to St. Thomas hospital where I checked in, got a wristband, and sat around feeling out of place in a sea of elderly people.  For the next few hours, I was transferred from one room to another where I doled out free samples of my urine and blood, and finally landed in the recovery room where I got dressed in a hospital gown and socks.  Here, Brian and I sat behind a curtain and listened as they wheeled in post-op patients either crying or moaning.  This is a not a good place to be while waiting for your own surgery.  Soon, the nurse came in and told me I was not pregnant (okay- I already told you I was on birth control), and took my vitals.  Next, I was wheeled into yet another room where they stuck my hand with a needle (Ouch!) and administered some kind of chemical that made me sleepy.  Next thing I know, I wake up with a gauze mustache taped across my face, the surgery is done, and I feel awful.

The nausea from the anesthetic causes me to throw up blood in the recovery room, but the nurse tells me this is normal.  Since when is throwing up blood normal!  They release me to go home and that's where the real fun begins.

The next few days are a haze of nausea, headaches, a swollen nose, and constipation.  I have splints stitched into my nose to prevent my newly staightened septum from collapsing and as a result, I can only breathe through my mouth.  Four days later, I have the splints removed and although I've never had a baby, I imagine its somewhat like giving birth, except out of your nose.  The rest of the week is spent battling headaches, fatigue, and jaw pain.  I still cannot breathe well out of my nose, but I'm supposed to go back to the doc's next week to have my nose vacuumed.  Lovely. 

So far, I can't tell the results- it takes a few months for the nose to completely heal.  At this point, it has not been worth it, but once healing takes place, I may be singing a different tune.  Okay- now where's my Afrin? 

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